The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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