I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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