apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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