I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
