I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
