I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
