You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I had your ass I would rule the world
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
