We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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