Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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