i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
