First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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