plz talk dirty to me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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