I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
