You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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