Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
