i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
