Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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