Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hippo gnu deer
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
