i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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