These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
