yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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