And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
