thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
