all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
