I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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