My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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