that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
