i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
