On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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