Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize