Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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