Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
