Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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