Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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