is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize