No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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