I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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