he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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