Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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