On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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