No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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