Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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