we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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