we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize