would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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