I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
