I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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