It's Friday. Sex?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
