You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize