when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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