so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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