When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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