she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
