He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
